Now that I’m home with my (soon to be) 3 year-old on most days, I’ve realized that there are a few things that no one tells you about Stay At Home Mom-hood. Maybe because we don’t want to scare the fertility out of others since we like company in this brave new world of parenthood. For instance:
You will start to dissect the relationships between cartoon characters, “Are Mickey and Minnie Mouse dating? or are they brother and sister?” You may or may not Google it.
You’ll be standing in the backyard in your bathrobe trying to hose out a potty chair that is too gross to clean by way of any other method, and it will feel strangely normal.
You’ll say things like, “Don’t drink the bathwater, it’s been on your butt.”
You’ll stop noticing how messy your house is until someone unexpectedly drops by and then all of the messiness will sort of magically appear. I swear it wasn’t this gross two minutes ago.
You’ll quote your toddler like she’s a Will Ferrel movie, but only to your spouse. Because no one else would understand why you call cheddar “turtle cheese” or ask them to move by saying “step PUH side!”
At some point you will have the urge to photograph poop, either to show the pediatrician, “Is this color normal or does she have scurvy?” or to show your husband, “She took a poop today the size of Scuba Steve!” But you won’t, deciding instead to just describe it (the doctor and your husband are grateful for this).
You will start to refer to yourself in the third person, as in “Mommy needs a time out,” as well as collectively, as in, “We don’t rub cheese on the window,”
You won’t even think it’s that strange when she refuses to even take one bite of the peanut butter and jelly bars you just made because they “look yucky,” but then she immediately tries to eat the orange crayon, because apparently those look delicious.
- 1 ½ cups flour
- ½ tsp baking powder
- ¾ cup golden brown sugar
- ¾ cup smooth peanut butter
- ½ cup butter, softened
- 1 egg
- 1 tsp vanilla
- 2 cups strawberries (thawed if frozen)
- 2/3 cup powdered sugar
- Yield: 9 to 12
- In a small bowl combine the flour and baking powder.
- Add the peanut butter, butter and sugar to a stand mixer, mix on medium high until well combined. Add the egg and vanilla, mix until well combined.
- Sprinkle with flour mixture, stir until just combined.
- Line and 8x8 inch baking dish with parchment paper, making sure the paper goes up and over the edges. Add half of the peanut butter dough to the pan, press into one even layer. Add the remaining dough to the freezer, put the 8x8 pan to the fridge to chill until ready to use.
- Preheat oven to 350.
- In a saucepan over high heat, add the strawberries and powdered sugar. Cook, stirring frequently, until thick and syrupy and the strawberries have broken down, about 10 to 15 minutes. While the strawberries are cooking, use a potato masher or spatula to smash and break up strawberries.
- Pour strawberries over crust. Retrieve the remaining crust from the freezer, break into pea-sized pieces, and sprinkle over strawberries. Use as much as desired, you may have leftover peanut butter dough.
- Bake at 350 until the top crust starts to turn golden brown, about 30 minutes. Allow to cool, remove from pan by grabbing the edges of the parchment paper and lifting out. Cut into squares.
Adapted from Epicurious