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Oatmeal Cookie Pancakes

I’ve spent all day with an internal struggle about the limits of my acceptance of other people. Probably a much too serious intro for a post about pancakes, but bear with me, you might have some insight I could really use.

I’ve always prided myself on being a person who is able to see people for who they are, in the context of their own culture and life experiences and find beauty, talent and value without the qualification and framework of my own situation.

Whether it be a trailer park in South Central Los Angeles, a cave in Morocco, or a bus bench in Greece I’ve always been able to do that. Easily.

But today I was challenge with a though: what about hateful, small-minded, bigoted people?

What about racists?

The homophobic?

Are those people I should love and keep in my life?

I had an interaction with someone who left me wondering about my assertion that I have the anthropological capacity to care about other people regardless of who they are, what their beliefs or culture dictates, without judgement.

Can I judge someone merely for judging others? Isn’t that the epitome of hypocritical?

Isn’t the greater definition of open-minded and open-hearted to love those who are a challenge to love? I do believe that there is good in everyone. But is it worth it to try to dig past the hate and anger of a racist or homophobic friend or family member, or is that level of toxicity a fundamental deal breaker?

If you have some insight, let me know. For now I will proceed with caution, because the bottom line is I want to love everyone. I don’t want anyone, or any group of people, to be designated as a group I should hate. Because hate just breeds more hate.

Brown Butter Grilled Beer Cheese Sandwich

Ingredients

  • 6 oz cream cheese
  • 1/2 cup mozzarella cheese
  • 1 tsp cornstarch
  • 1/4 cup Pale Ale
  • 4 oz cheddar
  • 8 slices bread
  • 4 tbs butter

Directions

  1. In a blender or food processor add the cream cheese, mozzarella, cornstarch and beer. Blend until smooth, about 3 minutes. Spread the beer cheese generously onto 4 slices of bread. Top with about 2 tbs of cheddar and then top with a clean slice of bread.
  2. In a skillet with a lid melt the butter over medium heat (don't allow the butter to get too hot or it will burn) until just starting to turn a golden brown. Carefully add the sandwiches, and replace the lid allowing the sandwiches to steam in the pan until the underside is golden brown, about 3 minutes. Flip the sandwiches, replace the lid and allow to cook until the other side is a light golden brown and the cheese is melted, about 3 additional minutes.
https://domesticfits.com/oatmeal-cookie-pancakes/

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Comments


Cassie August 22, 2012 um 6:08 am

First – oatmeal pancakes = amazing. I made some last month and fell in love with pancakes all over again! Second – I think you are right in saying that open-minded and open-hearted means loving those who are the least-deserving of love, and the hardest to love. You have such an amazing heart, it’s truly visible, and I believe struggling with things like this make us totally human, I struggle with the same things. Every single person on this earth deserves to be loved and to be seen for who they truly are, regardless of race, color, sexual orientation, religion or other.

I know I judge other people. It’s a terrible thing that I wish I didn’t do and I try hard not to but I’m flawed – But I also know that I reach out a hand when a hand is needed, I pray for others, I serve and I try to love my neighbor. Maybe intention has everything to do with it. I so wish we could talk about this on a park bench with a cup of coffee in hand! I applaud you for bringing up a topic like this – you are a wonderful person Jackie!

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Jackie August 22, 2012 um 11:46 am

I hate when people say that they DON’T judge others, it just shows how much they lack self awareness. We all do it, unfortunately, and it’s just about commitment to the struggle to fight against it. I think with this issue, I struggle with whether or not I WANT to fight against my judgement of bigoted people.

And I SO wish you and I could have drinks someday, you are one of the most genuine and accepting people there is.

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Jen @ Savory Simple August 22, 2012 um 6:10 am

These photos are just stunning, first of all. The pancakes sound delicious. And I think I struggle with the same thing. I feel a lot of anger toward the people you describe because of their actions and the way the effect those around me. But mostly I just keep my mouth shut and try to understand their point of view. So far no luck.

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Jackie August 22, 2012 um 11:48 am

I hear you. I sometimes feel like if I can try to understand why and how they came to the conclusions they did about other groups then maybe I can say something to change their minds. But sometimes it seems like that is just delusional!

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Jenny August 22, 2012 um 7:32 am

The pancakes look absolutely stunning – I would love them for my breakfast!

Realistically, I think everyone judges other people to a degree. It’s human nature. I think being aware of it and at least pondering ways to be more accepting (even to those who we think may not deserve it) is a good step in the right direction, and one I certainly should take more often.

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Jackie August 22, 2012 um 11:50 am

Absolutely. I work hard to recognize my own judgments and try to fight them, it seems like the more you allow yourself to be aware to more constant that struggle seems. I’m just not sure I want to allow bigoted people in my life long enough to try and temper my own judgements against them.

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Laura (Blogging Over Thyme) August 22, 2012 um 8:21 am

Beautiful photos! These pancakes look amazing. I try not to judge others, but I think unfortunately its something we all do.

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marla August 22, 2012 um 9:28 am

In LOVE with these pancakes!

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Bree August 22, 2012 um 12:17 pm

This is beatifully written and something I can relate well too. I think sometimes you just need to surround yourself by people who don’t hate, who have open minds and a capacity to accept difference. And those that don’t? You don’t need to hate them, you just don’t need to be friends with them…
On a lighter night-great pancakes! 😉

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Jackie August 22, 2012 um 1:54 pm

That’s my struggle at the moment. Do I stay friends with someone like that and hope that I can in some way be catalyst for change or is it even worth the toxic energy that it brings in my life?

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Denise August 22, 2012 um 1:18 pm

trying not to judge is the best thing we can do. I think we al judge a little, but it helps to always be aware of it…
On another note: these pancakes are just too gorgeous for words! Almost too perfect to eat (not really though:p, I’m sure they taste amazing too!)

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Anna @ hiddenponies August 22, 2012 um 2:56 pm

These are some stunning pancakes, and I love your openness about a difficult topic…it’s so hard not to judge others when we all come from such different places. I try not to, but I definitely catch myself doing it to often…I try to judge myself a little more critically to make up for it 🙂

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Jackie August 22, 2012 um 3:00 pm

Ha! I have no problem judging myself way to critically!

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amy @ fearless homemaker August 22, 2012 um 3:55 pm

first off, these look amazing! gorgeous pictures, too. now, on to the heavy stuff. i struggle with the same thing – i think we all do. part of the journey in life, i think, is learning to let go of some of that judgement, especially the judgement that seems so difficult to let go of (to judge the bigoted, or racist, or homophobic, for me). maybe life isn’t about being open + non-judgemental towards everyone, but LEARNING to be so, or at least getting better + better at it, even if it’s just by a tiny bit, every day, every month, every year. just my two cents. =)

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zara d August 22, 2012 um 4:46 pm

I don’t believe that I’ve been fascinated with someone withinside my own views. I only keep company with those who believe the same as me. I would give a big F-U to someone who was homophobic or racist.

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Jen August 22, 2012 um 7:00 pm

Those pancakes look great–I think I will demand them the next time my husband and son make me pancakes!

As for the other topic, here’s my thinking: if these people are family members, you’re stuck with them, and just have to do your best to try to focus on the good in them (and if you’re me, provoke them occasionally on the issue. But apparently I’m a bit on the confrontational side).

You ask "Can I judge someone merely for judging others?" But bigots do not judge individuals–instead, they hate/judge groups, indiscriminately. Bigotry denies the individual qualities of particular people and makes sweeping, broad, wrong judgments about whole groups of people. While everyone is worthy of being treated with kindness, I personally don’t feel that spending my energy on a friendship with a bigoted person is worth my while. You can hope that they’ll change. You can pray that their heart will be turned. But you don’t necessarily have to spend your time trying to make that happen.

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Jackie August 22, 2012 um 7:18 pm

Provoke them occasionally! I love that since I do that too. I do have a big family who are all along the progressive to bigot spectrum, but there are also people from the very small town I grew up in who try so hard to hold onto small-minded views. I guess I selfishly hope to be an inspiration and catalyst for change and have a hard time giving up on someone I truly see good in. But you may be right, there are so many other people in this world to have relationships with.

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oatmeal cookie pancakes. | Cooking Pics August 22, 2012 um 7:54 pm

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Sook August 22, 2012 um 8:47 pm

Beautiful photos!! The pancakes look so good!

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Ashley @ Wishes and Dishes August 22, 2012 um 9:29 pm

What gorgeous pictures and perfect looking pancakes! I will be trying these

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Amedar August 22, 2012 um 9:31 pm

Hello There. I found your blog from foodgawker. I love these pancakes. I hate homophobic people and I don’t care. I don’t want to like them or have relationships with them, I have too many gay people that I love who are more important to me. Deal breaker.

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Sowmya August 22, 2012 um 10:11 pm

Oats in Pancakes – that is screaming healthy!!!!! and love the photos

Sowmya

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A Few Random Morning Links … | The Pretense of Knowledge August 23, 2012 um 2:01 am

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RavieNomNoms August 23, 2012 um 10:14 am

WOW, those pancakes are going on my must make immediately list. Like as in maybe will have breakfast for dinner tonight kind of immediate. They look so good and I am sure they are!

I feel your pain on this issue. It is so hard. Personally, I have a really hard time associating myself with people that have that kind of hate in them. I try to look past it and if it is someone I NEED to deal with on a daily basis then maybe just try look at their other qualities and focus on that. If it is someone that maybe I only see once and a while…then perhaps just deal with it as it comes and try not to speak too much to them when the time comes up. I have a very difficult time seeing how some people are so hateful, but what I normally do is try to stay out of those hateful conversations as much as possible. Cutting that kind of negativity and hate out of your life is better than trying to combat it in my opinion.

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Chung-Ah | Damn Delicious August 23, 2012 um 11:05 pm

I just left a super long comment and of course the internet cutout and safari just completely shut out on me. If I end up leaving 2 comments, sorry!

The pancakes here are fabulous. I’m totally saving this recipe for a Sunday brunch, although I would love to make this during the week. But let’s be real – getting up at 5AM is already a struggle to get to work on time. I don’t think I could wake up any earlier.

As for the other stuff – I judge people. I hate to admit it but I do. I struggle with this though because I wish I could be the person that doesn’t judge, no matter what he or she does, thinks, or says.

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Kiersten @ Oh My Veggies August 24, 2012 um 7:38 am

I have a tendency towards judgmental-ness, but I justify it by saying it’s only with people who deserve to be judged. Probably not the best attitude to have, though. I try to tell myself that people who have ugly beliefs hold them out of ignorance, out of not being exposed to certain things, etc.

But anyway. Gorgeous pancakes. The photos are amazing!

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Heather Christo August 24, 2012 um 8:32 am

These are GORGEOUS!! I just saw them on TK and started to drool!

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fatpiginthemarket August 24, 2012 um 3:32 pm

Okay…I had to stare at those pancakes a bit before I got deep. By the way…I want one. I definitely struggle with those situations too. I like to look for a moment when I can hopefully affect a change with some calm conversation. Sometimes I have that patience for someone and the faith that they will see things in what I think is a more fair, healthy way. Sometimes I don’t have that patience and if the interaction is too toxic I make my exit. I like that you brought this topic up.

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Jen @ Jen’s Favorite Cookies August 25, 2012 um 7:44 am

Oatmeal cookies pancakes are an inspired idea!! I need to try this!

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Becky August 25, 2012 um 8:12 am

Love them (if you must) from a distance.

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Norma August 25, 2012 um 6:11 pm

Oh, my. These pancakes are the best. I didn’t have raisins, so I subbed dried cranberries. Didn’t hurt the flavor at all. 🙂 I am passing this on to all my foodie friends. Thanks.

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Jackie August 25, 2012 um 7:07 pm

Thank you Norma! I’m so glad you liked them 🙂

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Lindsay @ Pinch of Yum August 27, 2012 um 6:01 am

Hi Jackie! I saw these on FG and now on TK. Wow girl, you have some sweet skills with that camera. Love the lighting and the set up of your shots! And hello, they look deliciousss.

Also, your thoughts about judging, open-mindedness, etc. are hard but I think also good things to think about. What I appreciate about what you said is that you are turning it back on yourself and trying to understand them instead of jumping on them for their own hate issues. Hard stuff, for sure! Thanks for your honest post.

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Jackie August 27, 2012 um 11:51 am

Thank you so much! My photography journey has been bumpy, but I’m so committed to learning and growing. I still can’t even refer to myself as a "Food Photographer" even though I’ve done some paid gigs because there is still so much more I feel I need to learn!

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Perry August 27, 2012 um 8:17 am

This is my first time seeing your blog/site; a link was posted on the list-serv of our humanistic religious community because it fit so well with the topic of our service yesterday. I’ve been giving this some thought and here’s my take on it:

It’s okay, even important, for me to judge people’s behavior as wrong or unethical. But if I say "I hate haters" then a) I have made the same mistake they’re making, and b) I’m saying that I hate myself! So my goal is to stick to judging _behavior_ while maintaining awareness that wrongheaded people have exactly the same _innate worth as human beings_ that I do and everyone else does. Or more briefly: being more right than someone else about something–even something important–doesn’t make me a better human being than he or she is, _because there is no such thing!

Of course, stating this principle is easier than living it. (Hence some of the people who profess to "Hate the sin and love the sinner," which is the same thing in more traditional language, but really think they’re "holier than thou.") And knowing the principle doesn’t give me unlimited time and energy to engage people who have racist/homophobic/sexist beliefs. But I’m hopeful that it will help guide my emotions and responses when the need arises.

Thanks for raising such an important issue.

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Jackie August 27, 2012 um 11:48 am

Thank you for your insight Perry! I don’t know much about the Humanistic Religion, but I’m so flattered that this post was shared and I loved your views. And I agree with you about the "Love The Sinner Hate The Sin" line, It makes my skin crawl. We all have way too much going on in our own lives to worry about ever get around to the "luxury" of having any hate for someone else’s sin. That line should just stop with the first word, erase those last five and you’ve got something there.

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Perry August 27, 2012 um 1:59 pm

[Shameless plug alert!] Jackie, if you’re curious about humanistic religion, you can check out the Wikipedia page on Religious Humanism or the web sites of the American Ethical Union (www.aeu.org), the Unitarian Universalist Association (www.uua.org), and/or the Society for Humanistic Judaism (www.shj.org).

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Phoebe September 23, 2012 um 5:51 am

I have made these pancakes twice now and each time they get even more delicious if thats possible! Im from the South of England and pancakes aren’t always made a great deal, but these are starting to become and sunday morning tradition.

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Jackie September 23, 2012 um 8:51 am

I’m so glad you liked them!

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Alison @ Ingredients, Inc. October 15, 2012 um 1:19 pm

I just shared this on my Facebook page! LOVE

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Kelly Senyei (Just a Taste) October 15, 2012 um 1:41 pm

WOW! These look spectacular! I love that you included the raisins for a chewy bite. Can’t wait to try these!

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Jennifer January 7, 2013 um 6:04 am

I have cut my grandmother out of my life because she is a toxic person. I’m not judging her, just accepting the reality that she lives to stir up negativity and hurt people. She has already wreaked havoc on my life, but I will not allow her to get her tentacles around my husband and children. The buck stops with me. If she were to apologize and make a concerted effort to change, I would have to reconsider…but I’m not holding my breath. I don’t believe in trying to maintain relationships with everyone regardless of their behavior. I certainly can’t expect people to love me if I behave like a jerk, and neither should they.

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Jackie January 7, 2013 um 9:05 am

Good for you. Especially after we have kids, putting distance between our family and toxic people is important. I have an easier time cutting people out for the sake of my daughter, even family members. Before I was a mom, it was a lot harder.

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Naty January 12, 2013 um 9:22 am

All my son and I can say is WOW!!!! The best recipe out there…

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Jackie January 12, 2013 um 9:31 am

Thank you! So sweet of you 🙂

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Sarah February 8, 2013 um 7:47 am

These are the BEST pancakes I have had in a long long while. They taste exactly like an oatmeal cookie. I had mine topped with blackberry jam and fresh strawberries- perfection. Then I made just one more for myself with just a dollop of real, local maple syrup and it was pure perfection. I’m fairly sure that this recipe is what has been missing from my life. Everyone needs to make these. Now.

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Jackie February 8, 2013 um 8:48 am

Yay! Thank you Sarah 🙂

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Jeana March 4, 2014 um 7:10 am

Thank you so much for sharing your recipe and personal reflections! Out of all of the photos of pancakes I had to choose from I was most tempted to look more closely at yours. The feeling that sent me to your site was one of attraction. I was attracted to your pancakes because they were beautiful to me! I, like you, find it fairly easy to see beauty in an array of individuals and places. This shared trait is because we are probably both very open minded people. On that note, I challenge you to rethink the very definitions of a few words your troubled post is centered around. The words are 'judgement', and 'love'. I want you to consider the fact that these are not feelings. To judge. It is actually what makes us human. We constantly judge order to survive and succeed; to make choices is to judge. There is nothing wrong with judging. The error or sin comes with what we decide to do with that judgement. I know you were using the word in a different way, but I say it is important to make a distinction between one’s judgement and what one chooses to do with the conclusions he or she comes to or the feelings the impression draws out. That brings me to the word love. I see on this page the word 'love' used in this way, "I love breakfast food…" Of course what we mean when we use the word in this way is, "I enjoy breakfast food…" I recently made a gift of 39 pictures complete with captions about why I love my husband under each one. "I love you because you are a great friend to others… I love you because we are cute together…" What I really meant was reasons why I enjoy him. This was implied by the context, of course, but the sad truth is that the flippant use of the word love has devastated our culture. Marriage, politics, and friendships are all being eviscerated by this misunderstanding of the most intrinsic human quality. Here is a definition I would challenge everyone to meditate on and apply. To love someone is to purpose to benefit that individual without expecting anything in return. The King James Version of the bible actually translates it as charity. This could be done in a feel good way that is enjoyed by both parties, in a horribly uncomfortable way, such as pointing out bad choices they are making with their lives, or in an innumerable variety of levels in between these extremes. Maybe forgiveness, even if never expressed, is the best way you can love someone, but in order to reach that point, we have to admit that we see them as being wrong in some way, which involves some serious judging. Truth is not relative, it is absolute, so someone has to be wrong at some point, and that isn’t beautiful, but it can be loveable. So, in short, we do not have to agree with others and we do not have to approve of what they are doing to love them. 1 Corinthians 13:1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

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Valerie December 13, 2014 um 8:55 am

Very moving introduction. A lot to ponder over these beautiful pancakes.

Quick guestion, I would like to make these Christmas morning, but the idea of trying to get everything together on such a hetic, wonderful, crazy morning has been running for instant pancake batter:(
Is there a way to premix this batter? Will it keep for one night?
Thanks for your help and the recipe!

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MAYA @ MAYA- KITCHENETTE February 27, 2015 um 3:50 pm

Your photographs are beautiful! I can’t wait to try this oatmeal cookie pancakes recipe soon.
Thank you for sharing. 🙂

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Luisa Rodriguez April 7, 2015 um 2:32 pm

Wow I just thinking now in this post and is so serious ask myself about it! Is so easy love the "good" people for me, but the people whom hate the things I love can I will love them?? Thank you for made me think, because I judge easily the people whom don’t agree my ideas, and I’m not perfect. BTW Im gonna try this wonderful pancakes! Xoxo

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viv May 15, 2015 um 12:35 am

Just shared this post out – as someone mentioned earlier the images are awesome but the recipe itself is delicious. I think it’s the cinnamon and nutmeg that really make it sing. Thank you.

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