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Chipotle Beer Cheese Oven Fries

 Football fries: Chipotle Beer Cheese Oven Fries

Football fries: Chipotle Beer Cheese Oven Fries_

When I was 17 I decided to sell vacuums door-to-door. It was a great plan, I’d met a guy who had made a few thousand dollars in just one day, it seemed like easy money.

After a quick intro seminar in an office park in a bad area of town, they loaded up a floor model into the back of my car and gave me a folder of pre-screened targets that I had appointments with. My first stop was a nice apartment overlooking the water. I nervously waited for the door to open as I practiced my opening line in my head a few times.

The door swung open and an attractive 22-year-old guy was on the other side of the door. The look on his face mirrored my own: you’re not what I was expecting. He eagerly invited me in, offering me a drink, clearly unaware of my underage status. I declined, trying to stick to the script. I didn’t get paid unless this guy buys an overpriced cleaning machine, and I needed money.

I start the routine I’d been taught, demonstrating the equipment, quoting stats and specs, and trying to get him to pay more attention to the vacuum than my jeans. Mid-pitch, he stops me, "I have an Ikea couch and my TV is held up by a shipping crate, do you really think I can afford a $600 vacuum? It’s not going to happen."

I explained that I had to call my boss to tell him how it was going, but I had to wait at least 30 minutes after my arrival. I asked him to give me more time. He hesitated. "Look, how about this. We’ll play one game of poker, if I beat you, you buy the thing. If not, I’ll leave before I have to make the call."

A few minutes later he emerged from his kitchen with a pack of cards and a box of matchsticks he wanted to use as poker chips. Due to a lack of furnishing, we sat cross-legged on the floor of his living room as I dealt hold ’em and watched him suck down a second scotch. Fifteen minutes later, I had all the match sticks. For a second time.

"I just beat you twice," I said as I motioned towards the overpriced vacuum.

"I still can’t afford it. But can I take you out this weekend?"

"Are you going to buy a vacuum?" Which was really a poor choice of words, I just wasn’t sure how to respond to his advance.

"You’re making me buy that thing before I can take you out?"

"No, I’m not going out with you either way. But….it’s a really good vacuum."

He laughed. "Look, I’ll help you load it up. There really is no chance that I’ll buy this thing. How about we walk over to that cafe across the street and I’ll buy you dinner for your trouble."

I hesitated, I didn’t want him to think it was a date, he clearly noticed.

"It’s not a date! I owe you something for your time and the fact that you’re oddly skilled at poker, and I feel bad just sending you away. Just let me buy you dinner."

I agreed, but I also ordered the cheapest thing on the menu, cheese fries, to remind him that there wasn’t any chance this was more. They were fantastic. I canceled all other vacuum-related meetings, returning the stupid thing in the morning. Cheese fries and winning at poker isn’t a bad night, but it never earned me any money.

Football fries: Chipotle Beer Cheese Oven Fries

Football fries: Chipotle Beer Cheese Oven Fries


Chipotle Beer Cheese Oven Fries


  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1 tsp pepper
  • 1 tsp onion powder
  • 1 tsp garlic powder
  • ½ tsp smoked paprika
  • ½ tsp chili powder
  • 2 lbs russet potatoes cut into wedges
  • 3 tbs canola oil
  • 2 tbs cornstarch
  • ¾ cup beer
  • 1 cup shredded Cheddar do not use pre shredded
  • ¼ cup heavy cream
  • 2 chipotle chili plus additional to taste
  • 2 tbs Butter
  • ¼ cup green onions chopped
  • ¼ cup cilantro chopped


  • Preheat oven to 425.
  • In a small bowl stir together the salt, pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, smoked paprika, and chili powder.
  • Add the potatoes to a small bowl, sprinkle with spices, toss to coat.
  • Add the oil to a baking sheet.
  • Add the potatoes to the baking sheet in one even layer, with one of the cut sides down.
  • Bake for 12 minutes. Turn the potatoes over so the other cut side is down.
  • Bake for an additional 12 minutes or until the potatoes are golden brown and fork tender.
  • While the potatoes are baking, make the cheese sauce.
  • Add the cornstarch, beer, cheese, cream, and chipotle to a blender or food processor. Process until smooth.
  • In a pot over medium high heat, melt the butter. Add the cheese sauce, cook until thickened and warmed.
  • Plate the potatoes, drizzle with cheese sauce. Sprinkle with cilantro and green onions.
Chipotle Beer Cheese Oven Fries 3

Football fries: Chipotle Beer Cheese Oven Fries

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Katrina @ Warm Vanilla Sugar September 8, 2014 um 6:53 am

Bahahaha I love this story for so many reasons! Cheese fries are definitely a "there’s nothing more to this" food. And totally satisfying at the same time!


Sophia @ NY Foodgasm September 8, 2014 um 7:08 am

Damn girl, you have always had balls! I admire that! These oven fries lok spectacular and the cheese sauce as well! I’m sure these are better than the cheese fries that guy bought you!


Rachel @ Baked by Rachel September 8, 2014 um 7:13 am

Hilarious!!! And such a funny way to get to the fries! Also, I had a chipotle dressing a few weekends ago and I’m pretty much obsessed now, so I’ll be naming these fries very soon!


Kelly @ Hidden Fruits and Veggies September 8, 2014 um 8:25 am

That’s pretty funny! I have a strict policy of "if it’s free, you take it" so I’m glad you at least cashed in on some cheese fries. These look so good. Beer + cheese is always a win.


Samantha @ Carpe Cibus September 8, 2014 um 1:06 pm

I have been craving poutine something fierce these last few days. But this may have to do.


Christine Presto September 9, 2014 um 7:19 am

These look like a new staple for football season!


Chuck September 9, 2014 um 6:18 pm

I just recently subscribed to your e-mail (7 weeks ago) and I have made 9 of your recipes. All have been super! The cheddar fries are fantastic. Love your stories too.I am recently seperated and learning to cook, you have been a great help! Keep it up!!!


Jackie September 9, 2014 um 7:03 pm

Thank you chuck!


Karen K September 10, 2014 um 3:55 pm

What kind of beer did you use or would you suggest? Or does it not matter?


Jackie September 10, 2014 um 4:02 pm

It really depends in what you like. I prefer an IPA, but a wheat beer or brown ale would be fine also. I’d stay away from stouts and porters


Annie @Maebells September 12, 2014 um 9:08 am

Stunning photos!! I love the set up, and they sound amazing!


addie | culicurious September 13, 2014 um 8:43 pm

These look so tasty, Jackie! 🙂


Jamie September 14, 2014 um 8:25 pm

Your vacuum story totally cracked me up. These cheese fries must be on the menu for our next game day.



bev @ bevcooks October 3, 2014 um 2:05 pm

Give me all those fries right now, OR I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND.


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